Break-ups are never easy, and though there's no manual to breaking someone's heart, we have assigned tons of "dos" and "dont's" to the process. Don't hurt their feelings, Do say you'll never forget them, Don't say you found someone else, Do break up with them face-to-face....which got us wondering, what's with all these rules? Why can't you break-up with someone over the phone, email or text? Sure. It's not nice per se, but how much does that really matter during a break-up?
So the question is....do you owe a significant other a face-to-face break-up? (we'll leave husbands out of this, because whether you like it or not you're not getting out of it that easily). We're condition to answer this yes, but honestly do you really owe them anything? You both entered into the relationship as consenting adults wanting to spend time together, if the day comes that you no longer what to spend time together (side note - which is never a surprise to either person) why can't you just say so in the most convenient way? Do you really have to watch them cry, grovel and emasculate themselves? Especially if you're over the relationship?
The rule of thumb is that out of courtesy you should dump someone in person, but hell - the dumpee doesn't want to be there either! Breaking up with some guy outside his house, infront of your car or at Starbucks isn't really that better of an option - break-ups just suck by nature. Talk about courtesy....tell me over the phone so I can get the tears out of the way before I'm completely humiliated. Now that's showing some compassion!
If your mind is made up, I say - pick up the phone and call it a day. Only if you prefer the drama of it all would you need to do it in a flowery display of emotions.
There are a couple exceptions in my mind....
You live together You work together You share a kid, car, dog, or house
And to be clear... Those aren't exceptions because you "owe them anything", those are exceptions because you'll just naturally need to discuss break-up logistics since your lives are so intertwined at that point.
Look. Break-ups are not fun for anyone involved, but pretending you're doing some guy a favor by "saying it to his face" is just crazy. It's like pulling off a Band-Aid, get it over quickly and go about your day.