The decision to stop speaking to a friend can be a hard one to make. No one likes to lose friends. However, there are definitely toxic friendships that should be brought to an end. Dr. Phil said it best when he noted that the people in our lives tend to fall in one of two categories. There are "contributors" and contaminants". While some have characteristics of both, they tend to fall more into one category or the other.
Negative people truly do contaminate parts of our lives. You may notice that:
*They believe their opinions and their way of doing things is the only way.
*When you dare to disagree with them they quickly turn defensive and condescending.
*They place conditions on their friendship or their acceptance.
*You are expected to behave in a certain manner and should you fail to do so they get extremely upset.
*The continuous pessimistic attitude becomes a drain on your emotional health.
*The friendship has started to influence the way you feel about your own life and the way you treat people around you.
Although it is rare there are people who find themselves hanging on to old friends who are verbally abusive to them. Signs include but are not limited to: being called names, told that you are stupid, insulted, belittled, disrespected or being threatened. All of these? Verbal abuse. It is extremely unhealthy in any relationship and should not be tolerated.
Friends should have our best interests at heart and be loyal. When you find that the person you thought was your friend has been undermining your happiness, creating drama or problems in your life, sabotaging your other relationships or draining you emotionally it is probably time to cut them lose.
When a so-called friend creates any type of damage or havoc in your life or with your emotions, they aren't truly a friend. You have heard the saying "With friends like you who needs enemies?" That was probably created because someone found that they had a "contaminant" as a friend.
When the decision has been made to end the friendship it is best if you do it quickly and cleanly. Break all ties and close off all avenues of communication. Stop talking to the individual and move on with your life. Ignore or turn down any pleas to continue the friendship. Without their toxicity you will have a far healthier and happier future.