It is no secret that break ups can be hard to handle. This is especially true when it comes to relationships in which a person has invested a lot of time and effort. However, regardless of time, effort, or any other factor, relationships will sometimes end and you may or may not see it coming. Although the healing process that follows a heartful break up, can be long, there are healthy ways to deal with the hurt. With that being said, there are some very unhealthy ways some choose to display their unhappiness with the circumstances.
This past weekend I took my daughters to a birthday party for one of their friends. The party was at a children's party place so there were many families present. At one point during the party we noticed that many people started to look out of the front window. Outside the window you could see two guys and a girl in what appeared to be a heated argument. Concerns grew and someone mentioned the police had been called.
Being a woman, my high concern was that one of the guys may get angry and hurt the young woman. However, after watching for a brief moment it became clear that one of the men was consistently taking steps back from the young woman and she continued to pursue him. After the police arrived and a few people, who had been outside, came in to let everyone know what was going on, I was told that the young woman was an ex-girlfriend who did not want to be an ex-girlfriend.
The young man was attending a party there along with his new girlfriend and their children. The young woman allegedly showed up claiming she just needed to talk to him and began to make a scene. It was said that the young woman was stating she loved him and just needed to talk to him and it had to be now. Wow!! This is obviously not the type of scene you would expect to see unfold at a children's party.
However, the reality is that this type of behavior happens all of the time from both men and women who find it hard to let go. For that reason, I feel the need to say to those people that even though you may hurt, and you feel it is not fair, consider the fact that if that person left you, then they are not meant for you. Instead of risking jail time to chase after someone who does not want you, why not take a reasonable about of time to grieve for the love you lost, then move on to happier times in your life.
Playing the stalking game, which includes showing up unannounced, doing harm to yourself or someone else for attention, falling prey to harmful addictions, severely damaging your self-esteem, going to jail, or all of the above, is very dangerous and has unfortunately resulted in deaths of both men and women throughout history and continues to happen today.
My appeal to young men and women is to know your self worth and don't ruin your life over someone that you thought would stay around. When you decide to participate in this reckless behavior it never results in you getting what you want. In this situation, realize that you have EVERYTHING to lose and absolutely NOTHING to gain.
Think about it and please seek help if you find that you are doing these things, are thinking about these things, or are having a hard time coping with a break up. There are people around who are more than willing to help you. Find a trustworthy family member or friend, seek counseling, and/or seek spiritual guidance.
It is better to seek help with regaining your self worth and happiness, than to end up in jail wondering how you ever let things get this far.
If you are the person who is being stalked, make your intentions clear to the person and pursue a restraining order immediately if the activity persists. If you are not sure if you should get a restraining order, then talk to the police about what is going on. It is better to take those steps today, than tomorrow.
***Have you ever been on one side or the other of this situation? Please share your story in the comments below. The hope is that it will help someone to overcome their struggle and will keep someone safe***