It was clearly time for me to go. You have to know how to be a good friend and you have to know when to exit. That's my signal to leave. And so I did. In between cracking up laughing inside and shaking my head in disbelief, I thought long and hard about what he said on my drive home. The first thing that really surprised me was his inability to delay saying anything, particularly in my presence. So that led me to believe there was a lot of emotion involved. Let me be the first to say I don't know what preceded this scene and truly it is their marriage and their business. I figured I didn't need to know, but what I did need to do was get out of there and quick.
Speaking in generalities, and since periodically this issue can stand clarification allow me to state, seriously Dudes, women can have strictly platonic male relationships sans sex. This is so very doable. So, talk to a Sister, where is it written that this can't be a successful union/non-union? Personally I think whenever one partner doubts the others' capability of having a platonic relationship that it is a sign if insecurity. Possibly one has been burned in the past and is simply not comfortable being in this position again. If that is the case then be sensitive to you partners needs but at the same time try to eliminate this fear in his or her world. The chances are if both partners work, opposite sex friendships in the workplace are going to come up. You simply have to respect boundaries and respect yourself and your relationship.
The dynamics of this type of relationship of course is totally different for single people. Having a guy as a best friend has incredible advantages. Number one, they tell you the truth about yourself. Now If by change you are thin skinned you might want to toughen up a bit. They will also tell you what you don't want to hear about the guy you think you are so in love with. They are trying to save you from your self and prevent heartbreak. Your guy friends will verify most of what you've been thinking and encourage you to challenge the rest. They will also tell you when you need to check yourself and realize the person in your life is good for you, even though you can't see past his short comings. And yes, they will even tell you when you've gained weight and when you look good. But...it stays within the boundaries set, and it's a beautiful thing.
The male friends in my world are my truth sayers. The energy in these friendships provides a balance to both our psyches because both sides are getting an inside advantage from an unbiased member of the opposite sex. It works. I have nothing but mad love for the guys in my life and they know that I would go to war with them. One of my best guy friends is notorious for securing me a space for the Friday night poker game that I am not a regular of. Now I ask you, is that love or is that love?