How Communication Can Save Your Marriage Today

Communication is not just about telling each other about your day. It is about sharing what is on your heart even if it is hard to say and, more importantly, listening to your partner with an open heart and an open mind.

How Communication Can Save Your Marriage Today

It is hard for a couple to survive with today's mentality, "if it is too hard, get out." Marriage is not easy but divorce is not always the answer. One of the biggest problems in marriages today is that there is a huge lack of communication. Openness and honesty is vital to get the needs of each spouse met. When a husband or wife shuts their spouse out of their life by refusing to talk or to listen to them, a marriage is placed on the road to destruction.

One of the most important things in the communication process and in a marriage is sharing your thoughts and feelings with one another. Bottled up emotions usually leads to resentment, arguments, and problems when the emotions are finally released. Good communication means stating your issue while you are calm and in a respectful way. Allowing your spouse to hear what is on your heart, you can achieve a greater and deeper intimacy. Remember to use the words 'I think' rather then 'I feel' in a sentence. This way you have expressed a thought and not a feeling. Plus, when addressing a your spouse's behavior use the sentence "When you [fill in the issue here] it makes me feel -- ". This is a great way to get your partner to fully understand your emotions and reactions.

But, telling your spouse what is on your heart is only one part of the communication process. The other part involves listening and spending time thinking about what was said in order to resolve the issue. When your spouse is bringing the issue to you, remember to take the time to listen to what they are saying. Merely hearing what the person is saying and listening are two different things. To fully understand what the other person is saying, you need to let your partner say everything he or she has to say, and then react to them in an with an equally calm and respectful tone. Try not to reject your spouse's feelings by saying things like 'Don't worry, be happy' or 'You shouldn't feel that way.' Rejecting a feeling is like rejecting the person who is feeling it.

The most important thing is to find a solution and resolve the issue. Nothing is achieved by hoping the problem will just disappear or focusing on the point that there may not be a solution to your problem. There is always a solution to every problem but, the solution usually depends on behavior modification on both of your parts.

In order to avoid a divorce a couple needs open communication. Sharing your thoughts and feelings might be hard at first but it is better than resorting to divorce when the relationship turns bad.

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