Sounds contradictory, doesn't it? But it is definitely not impossible. The key to the whole issue is the attitude. And of course, time, the great healer plays a major role.
M.P. Dunleavey of Lifetime television says, "Breakups often feel more like death than we care to admit, and the phases can be very similar to those described in Elisabeth Kubler-Ross' groundbreaking book, "On Death and Dying." What follows is some combination of anger, despair, denial, regret, fear of the future, and fury, though not necessarily in that order. There is also the fantasy that he'll come crawling back to you, and despair whether anyone will find you attractive ever again.
The best thing to do is to try and come to terms with it. The more you let the pain take its course, the quicker it will be over. After you've moped and wallowed in your sorrow, bring your focus back to yourself. In the next few weeks, do everything within your power (and bank account) to make yourself feel better. Make plans with friends and loved ones to go out for dinner, movies and even shopping together! In short, indulge in all the things you always wanted to do but did not have time for. Give yourself a new, sexy hairdo, pamper yourself in the spa and use your experience to become a better and revitalized person. Very soon, you will come up with feelings ranging from relief to freedom, as experienced by this young lady-
"My college breakup was one of the most pivotal moments in terms of turning my life around. When I left that very dependent, claustrophobic relationship, I gave myself a license for unlimited adventure. I drove cross-country, ended up taking a four-month trip through Europe and ultimately moved to California. I shudder to think how narrow my life would have been if I'd stayed with him."
- Miya, 27
So, dear newly single guys and gals, a breakup is not the end of the world. The end of a relationship is the beginning of a new chapter in your life, a new youâ€¦ A must-read in this context is "There is nothing wrong with you," by Cherie Huber.
M.P. Dunleavey of Lifetime TV shows how you can make light of the situation. "Get some paper, draw a long, long line and make your own breakup timeline, marking off your personal milestones along the way. Give the stages funny names. If you feel relieved, create a section called 'Thank God I'm Free.' If you're depressed, call that 'The Dark Ages.'
Here are some handy tips to get over it - Don't try to be their friend - make a "clean break", Do erase his/her telephone number, old e-mails etc, Don't sit around staring at the mementos; put them away, Do use a journal or notebook to vent your pain, anger and frustration, Do spoil yourself, Do buy new bedding amp; change your surroundings, Don't rebound, Don't listen to the negative self-talk, Do take charge of your life - the world is your oyster.